All my life, I lodged a philosophy that with an age sense of responsibility also develops in a person. With maturity an individual steps up to their responsibilities. Now, as I validate my philosophy with my own life I feel how wrong I was. As I look up in the mirror I can definitely see a man over a boy, at least physically, but I still try to shy from accountability. The truth is: unless forced with responsibilities no one becomes responsible. Growing age simply prepares a person, but accepting one is different story altogether.
Getting wed is the biggest burning issue among my age groups. Generally, from social, cultural, as well as natural aspects wedding is inevitable. Some of my buddies have already tied their knots while some are still pondering over it. For those pondering, age is not the issue anymore, either they have some unaccomplished targets or they are simply running away from the responsibilities. Recently I had talked with one of my friend, a PhD student, who is refraining to go to Nepal (haven’t been there for a long time now) fearing that his parents will get him married. His case seems to be the combination of both causes that I mentioned above.
My perspective on marriage was to get settled first and then tie a knot. I wanted to be secure with myself to start with and then think of someone else. I underwent through the shitty aspects (hectic works & ever lasting financial burdens) of foreign life while a student and I didn’t want my spouse to ever face those, so I kept on delaying the inevitable. But, even after getting out of school I don’t feel secure and settled. If I was back home, with my degree and with a job that I have, I might have felt more comfortable. After spending 15 months in the wilderness of Lafayette Louisiana my perspective on marriage also changed. I can’t seem to define what settled or security is, so there is no point in waiting for infinite. Besides, if I ever attain my “settle”, my spouse will never understand the hardship that I had to put through to get there. And I have started in believing that if the couples rise through the ranks together there would be more love and sustainable prosperity.
A year ago I wouldn’t even have thought about all these stuffs, today I am even prepared to share those in my blog. Now it’s my turn to deliberate, am I really being responsible or I have just moved a step closer to be more accountable for life.
are you saying you are ready to ‘settle’ now ??
So far as I feel we never get settled.
agree that u have grown up because u talk like one..
but u will never be settled in life. something or the other will be there..
watch out.. ur parents might have seen somebody 4 u
bs
Monsieur Naked Nepali,
I guess I am commiting on long shot mirage of getting settled
Anita,
I have fear for that too, but at least we can close in to that if we could define what “getting settled” is?
Beena,
Thanks for recognizing me as a grown up
…… how did u guessed that abt my parents? :O
well it’s never too late to be ready for something. I think many of our age groups are aware of that ‘inevitable’, they(we) just need some break from those beer weekends and give some time to life.
On your part, I guess everything is perfect, the time,the status and that monotony at Lafayette. so go get it boy! and lastly do some homework! as you know “marriage still is not a private affair for us”.
Samar,
Thanks for your words. Though I didn’t understand the last part. What exactly did you mean by and lastly do some homework! as you know “marriage still is not a private affair for us”.
I was going to disagree after reading first sentences of third paragraph, but now I agree with your observation and your flow of thoughts. It’s hard to feel secure, but time’s running out, and it’s true that it’s about growing together and not only the responsibility of one partner. We shouldn’t put the partner at risk and hardships, but having learned your position, you should be ready for the launch.
good luck.
So hows your progress for the homework Prajwol?
Anitya,
Thanks for your comment, I like it when you said “time is running out”. It’s no where late now but before you know time flies by, and then there will be another sets of adjustments. I am in a little better position than when in school, but still job for Int’l is always going to be like खुकुरीको धार, you never know when you will be packing
Anita,
Samar never replied me on what exactly he meant by “homework”, so I have no idea how to reply you. May be you can give your insight on “homework” and perhaps someday Samar would drop back a comment and we will see if you two meant the same thing