दशैं र Wai Wai

सानो छंदा दशैं धेरै कारणले मन पर्थो, जस्तै कि : धेरै लामो विदा, चङ्गा, मिठो परिकार, नया लुगा, दक्षिणा, भेटघाट, र अन्तिममा मात्र मान्यजनको आशिर्वाद र टिका |

नवमिको दिन एक जना नेपाली परिवारको घरमा खान बोलाएका थिए | Lafayette का १० – १२ जना नेपालीहरु त at least भेट हुन्छ भनेर दन्ग परी म पनि गएं | तर अप्रत्यासित रुपमा त्यहां त झन्दै ३५-४० जनाको जमघट भयो | खुब रमाइलो भयो, नाच गाना, हंसी मजाक, Scotch को साथ साथै खशीको मासुको sample पनि चाख्न पाइयो |

राति ढिलो सुतेकोले टिकाको दिन उठ्न सार्है गार्हो भयो, घरमा फोन पनि गर्नु पर्ने भएकोले पुरै इच्छा शक्ति जगाएर उठें | दशैं परेको हुनाले सबैले घरमा फोन गर्दा हुन्, मरिगए फोन लागेन | धन्न नेपालबाट अनलाइन आएकि प्रज्ञालाइ भेट भयो, अनि उसैले मेरो घरमा फोन गरिदे पछि घरबाट पनि अनलाइन आए | अनि त skype बाट मज्जाले गफ भयो |

हिजो रातिको अनिंद्रा, उछलकुद र dehydration ले गर्दा गाथमा पनि अलि आराम भएन | दिउंसो त fast food बाट खाजा खाइयो, अनि दशमीको दिन खालि निधार लिएर dinner Wai Wai पकाइयो | Wai Wai खाइ सके पछि मलाइ दशैंको के मन पर्छ भनेर फेरि सोच्न थालें : मान्यजनको आशिर्वाद र टिका, भेटघाट, मिठो परिकार, धेरै लामो विदा………………..

Happy Bijaya Dashami

Last year I was in the field, middle of a swamp, when one of my relatives called me to wish “Happy Bijaya Dashami”. I was surprised that I didn’t even sense it coming, and then I made an immediate effort to call home. I forgot about Dashain not because I am not into my religion, but with the type of surrounding that I am in I could not even sense it coming. There are absolutely no temples in Lafayette and negligible Nepalese community. Since I moved to Lafayette, I have been to temple four times: two times in San Antonio, one time each in New York and St. Louis. This time I will make sure that I at least call my family and friends.

While I was in graduate school, we celebrated Dashain by worshipping our car (using Coconut instead of animal sacrifice), going to the temple, and having a pot lock in someone’s place, and of course playing card games. Senior Dai’s and Didi’s also used to give us tika. It was not comparable to how Dashian was in Nepal, but at least we did something. But here in Lafayette, I guess best I could do is call family and friends. It will be my fourth Dashain without family.

But those of you who have the luxury of being together with family and friends, I wish you a very Happy Bijaya Dashami. And I would also like to wish those who won’t be fortunate enough to be around your loved ones, remember you are not the only one.

Yet another birthday!

Few more wrinkles
Added gray hairs
Tad little belly
Over the hill

Inflating of cavities
Stiffening of bones
Gasp of breathe
Over the hill

Perhaps newer wisdom
Additional drills
Responsibilities
Over the hill

Paradigm of life

All my life, I lodged a philosophy that with an age sense of responsibility also develops in a person. With maturity an individual steps up to their responsibilities. Now, as I validate my philosophy with my own life I feel how wrong I was. As I look up in the mirror I can definitely see a man over a boy, at least physically, but I still try to shy from accountability. The truth is: unless forced with responsibilities no one becomes responsible. Growing age simply prepares a person, but accepting one is different story altogether.

Getting wed is the biggest burning issue among my age groups. Generally, from social, cultural, as well as natural aspects wedding is inevitable. Some of my buddies have already tied their knots while some are still pondering over it. For those pondering, age is not the issue anymore, either they have some unaccomplished targets or they are simply running away from the responsibilities. Recently I had talked with one of my friend, a PhD student, who is refraining to go to Nepal (haven’t been there for a long time now) fearing that his parents will get him married. His case seems to be the combination of both causes that I mentioned above.

My perspective on marriage was to get settled first and then tie a knot. I wanted to be secure with myself to start with and then think of someone else. I underwent through the shitty aspects (hectic works & ever lasting financial burdens) of foreign life while a student and I didn’t want my spouse to ever face those, so I kept on delaying the inevitable. But, even after getting out of school I don’t feel secure and settled. If I was back home, with my degree and with a job that I have, I might have felt more comfortable. After spending 15 months in the wilderness of Lafayette Louisiana my perspective on marriage also changed. I can’t seem to define what settled or security is, so there is no point in waiting for infinite. Besides, if I ever attain my “settle”, my spouse will never understand the hardship that I had to put through to get there. And I have started in believing that if the couples rise through the ranks together there would be more love and sustainable prosperity.

A year ago I wouldn’t even have thought about all these stuffs, today I am even prepared to share those in my blog. Now it’s my turn to deliberate, am I really being responsible or I have just moved a step closer to be more accountable for life.